This is an all too common scene….Nick and I witnessed it and called the whole thing before it happened. People that live out here will get it a little more but anyway…
So Nick and I are at my new favorite spot in Waikiki…a place that serves over 150 beers on tap and plays NOTHING but classic rock. This pretty much means there are no hip hop wanna be losers to be found. I call this place heaven but it’s really called the Yardhouse.
Anyway I am doing the Yardhouse tour where I started at one end of the taps and I am gonna make my way around the whole thing. I am at 103 counting backwards. Nick hates beer so he isn’t doing said tour.
Anyway….we notice a group of chicks walk in. All between 25-30 we’ll say. Obvious tourists….you can just tell. Burnt to a crisp from the sun…way too much makeup and drinking Mai Tais and Lava flows. Each one about 15-20 lbs overweight but still dressing like they are in college. Probably single and I am going to guess teachers on break together from the mainland. They sit at the end of the bar almost begging someone to talk to them….I almost wanna go over and say “Hey..ladies…I am sorry…but it’s over.” But before I can do that a group of guys with buzz cuts, sideways hats, shell necklaces and logo t-shirts saying things like “Your girlfriend is good in bed” and “Got sex?” enter the bar. I didn’t know people still wore those lame shirts…not that they were ever cool anyway. As they enter they are loud as hell and excessive high fives are exchanged between almost every sentence. Those living here in Hawaii know right away these guys are military. They are drunk and looking for chicks.
The girls then look over and start to mock the guys…like they are too good for them. All the while nobody else in the bar has even said hi to them. Within 5 minutes a high five echos through the bar and the “Got sex?” shirt guy with his hat brim bent in half and sitting sideways on his head goes over and puts his arms around the girls. They go from too good for these guys to eating up the attention. Finally someone spoke to them. After sending the signal the others join the group but not without first a rousing round of high fives. The girls love it…they now have a story to tell when they get home about the guys they talked to in Hawaii. Loving all this attention the group appears to exchange numbers with one-another. Then the guys leave hands getting more red with every high five all the way out the door.
The part that bugs me is that after they left the girls began to rip these guys. Making fun of them in every way possible. Acting like they were too good for them. Like “Ugh…Cathy…I can’t like believe they were like talking to us, such dorks.” I just wanted to walk up and be like listen that is the best you are gonna get at this point….you were loving that attention and if you think you are too good for that then drop the draft beer and cheese fries you are crushing right now. Because you are not 21 and in college anymore. I am sorry…it’s over. Not being mean here…just honest. These girls were probably hot at one point but refuse to accpet that….not so much anymore. Sorry but the 20-25 crowd is getting that attention now. That’s why it is funny to me when I watched these same girls hate on EVERY young hottie that walked in. Everytime….look them up and down and rip them. They just don’t wanna accept that…well…it’s over.
They just don’t wanna accept that…well…it’s over.
Now I am not saying these girls can’t get a good guy..blah blah blah….but what I am saying is you can’t compete anymore, not with girls younger and hotter…just understand this and adjust your game. It’s life. I don’t hate on all the dudes younger than me. Some may need lessons on how not to be suckers..but I don’t hate. Stop hating on the girls you can’t be anymore. You used to be them..now you are not. You know you used to look and act the same as they do now…but because you can’t anymore….you talk shit. That’s just weak. Anyway…not a great story but just all too typical one. The best part was if you were there the play by play Nick and I were doing was priceless….I wish we were being taped. Hilarious. We called everything 30 seconds before it happened. That’s just us being old and in these scenes way too much. But it never changes and it is pure entertainment.
Anyway the guys left and the girls noticed us looking at them and talking the whole time. So they thought maybe we were interested…so they posted up 2 feet behind our barstools. We were leaving anyway…but I stood up…looked at them and said…”It’s over.”…and walked out. They had no clue what that meant but who cares…it’s funny.
Side note. Few days before that in the same place. Myself, Nick, Garvey and Steve were there and we were destroyed…..I later fell out of a cab and cut my face all up. Anyway…a new game was invented. We saw a couple girls across the way…we all exchanged looks and flirted etc. Then we sent them shots. When they looked over to thank us…. we gave them the finger. It was hilarious….we did it for our own entertainment but in the end they loved it. They were dying too. We then fell off our bar stools and I think got kicked out. But what was supposed to be just funny way to make them mad actually looks like a good way to break the ice. I don’t care….I would almost rather them get mad and flip me off back. But try it…it’s fun.
Before the hate mail rolls in from all my 25+ friends let me say that being 25 does not mean it’s over..I am just saying it is funny to me how I am always watching this scene repeat itself….older girls that don’t have it anymore hating on younger girls etc. I am amused by what I call the “attention wars.” Good times.
You know, I hate how all these chicks nowadays think they’re too good for everyone who tries to talk to them. Yeah, a lot are, but a lot are just fat slobs who will eventually just settle one day for whoever comes along. It’s too much watching Tyra, too much wearing clothes that say “princess” and too much being told growing up that they’re beautiful and one day their Prince Charming will come.
Unfortunately, it’s also because of guys like me who don’t treat them like they should be treated – like the dirty backstabbing whores they are. So yeah, I take some responsibility for that, but hey, I guess I was just taught that chicks are supposed to be “ladylike” and “prude” and things like that. Guess I had that wrong.
But as for these chicks, guarantee that those dudes walked out and are still laughing about hitting on those chicks, and now it’s a staple anecdote at all their frathouse gatherings. We’re all guilty of that, and it’s hilarious. In any case, these chicks deserve this slap in the face. Cheers Mark.
Ya know if you keep taking advice from Mark you’re going to be 32 and STILL SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if all the discusions on this website revolve around slapping women in the face then it’s gonna get old and will be a website full of HOMOS.
Here’s some advice… be a MAN and stop hating on women.
Steve doesn’t hate women and neither do I. Why does everyone act like being single is a disease? It’s pretty awesome. I know so many people who are not “single” but just choose to cheat instead or are miserable with their mate. Is that better than just being single? I don’t think so. In many cases, most in my opinion, people are with each other because they are afraid of being alone. How unhealthy is that? I say be a MAN and stand on your own two feet. If you meet someone worth your time and energy then go for it…till then why bother.
I choose to be single…it’s not because I am seeking a mate and can’t find one. I don’t wan’t one. But the petrified masses find that hard to believe because God forbid they are alone for 5 seconds. Stay strong Steve!