Preface: I put a version number after the title of this post because I’m sure there will be addenda, clarifications, extrapolations, analysis, revisitations, revocations, and further discussions regarding this topic.
“I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker”
So here’s the deal: I’m a nice guy. By that I mean I treat chicks well. I won’t walk up to some random chick and smack her ass. I don’t do the one night stand thing. I’ve bought flowers, written songs, made dinners, basically done all the things that my boy Mark wouldn’t do and refers to as “leather.” I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker. It makes me angry, as I discussed before, how chicks go for the a-holes. Lately, I’ve been trying to become this way. But it’s not working. And tonight I realized I’m okay with that.
Why is trying to become the proverbial a-hole not working? For some reason I can’t do it. It’s just not me. Sure, if I were an a-hole I may get hotter chicks, I may get more chicks, but I think I usually do alright. I mean, it could always be better, right? Even after being hurt as I have – maybe not as many times as some people, but I guarantee it hurt more – I guess I’m still hopeful that one day, somebody will realize what they’ve got and really appreciate it.
“…will end up marrying some douche bag that treats her like shit…”
Maybe it’s a fairytale dream. Where I’m at lately, yeah, I think it probably is. But what I realized tonight is that I can eventually get closure and be okay with things as long as I know that I did everything right – I played by my own rules and didn’t take advantage, treat poorly, or otherwise intentionally do anything that could harm (physically or otherwise) somebody else. Of course it hurts to get your heart ripped out and shit on. And yeah, when you’re the “nice guy” and have so much invested in someone I would submit it hurts a lot more than the a-hole who doesn’t have the same sort of investments. What I realized tonight, however, is that if someone wants to be that cruel, that inhuman to do that to you, the only consolation you can get is that you did everything right, and therefore have no regrets about it. Sure, you may spend a few weeks trapped in moderate to severe depression locked in your room listening to emo, not shaving, getting drunk, not sleeping, not eating, and going jogging everyday until you throw up, but eventually you’ll realize how I have that you did everything right, you did everything you can, and if she doesn’t want to be treated better than 95% of everyone else is going to treat her, that’s her choice. Eventually, it will be realized that she let the best guy she’s ever likely to find go, and will end up marrying some douche bag that treats her like shit, throws beer bottles at her face, and rapes her 13 year old daughter’s friend.
I know this is the case, because I’ve had that said to me before. The whole “oh, I never should have done what I did to you.” And no, you shouldn’t have. Then I introduce my number 1 rule about dating, which is to never get back together with an ex. So sorry, you had your chance, blew it, and I’ve moved on. This makes me even more upset, because often the reason the relationship ends (in my experience) is because once she knows I’m hooked, it’s not fun anymore or whatever. Screw that, just enjoy it. Enjoy not having to do stupid slutty things to try to keep me around. Just enjoy it. But they can’t do that, can they? Because it’s not fun, and by doing that they can’t act like some music video slut anymore. So go ahead. Burn me. Maybe enough times and I will turn into that a-hole. I know I should, it certainly would hurt a lot less every time it happens, but I don’t want to do that. And really, you shouldn’t want someone like that either. Because eventually, you’ll regret it, and eventually I won’t, because I’ll find someone who appreciates it. Maybe that’s what’s meant by “nice guys finish last.”
So go slap your face, girls, and stop acting like that and just enjoy what you have, because truly, it does always seem to go that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.
Slapbacks