So last week I head to the Carousel Clam (Mall) to get me some chow and relax a little…maybe check out some strange….whatever. I’m having a great lunch just chillin and I do a lap or two because I am a strong mall walker and then I head back to my office. On the way there, there is a road called Solar Street that merges into one lane and heads right back to my office. So, because there was no room in the main lane I was forced to get in the lane that ends. So the light turns green and I am just listening to some tunes and driving along and I let this car get ahead of me so I can merge….then this fuckin douchebag middle aged lady comes flying up and pushes me right off the road onto the curb so I couldn’t merge ahead of her. Needless to say I am pissed off beyond belief because I was so relaxed and shit. So the lady just happens to be going the same way I am. Now this whole time she is flipping me off because I honked at her and gave her a dirty look. I’ll never understand that…someone almost kills you and you get the dirty looks.
Anyways, she works at Niagara Mohawk which is our local power company and I work right across the street. So as I pull into my parking lot…I of course wait for her fat ass to walk by. As I see her I get out of my car and I walk over to her and say, “you fuckin cow, do you fuckin know what merge means?! Miserable pig!” Now that might seem really mean, but after driving in Syracuse for pretty much your whole life, it feels great to actually get to see a person face to face and lay into them. Just sayin.
“Miserable pig.” Brilliant. My brother did a similar thing to someone out here – I didn’t know what was going on until he ran inside our place screaming “my eyes! my eyes!”
Turns out the Vietnamese guy in the other car maced him when my brother went up to him. But, according to the story after being maced he gave the guy a [pre- T-Rex jiggly arms] Muhammad Ali right hook and dropped him before running inside to wash out the mace.
Good one.
Nice..but don’t think it’s only Syracuse. BY FAR the worst drivers I have ever seen are right here in Hawaii. Just senile asian fig newtons (old people) everywhere. Just driving with their mouths hanging open…drooling. Then locals peeling out in thier monster trucks (2 wheel drive, it kills me) screaming “Oooh bra!” Not to mention ENDLESS road work everywhere. The concept of merge just baffles people on this island. Hawaii is a great place but not chock full of the brightest people on the planet. It’s the Aloha State. I call it the Senile State.