As I’m sure all of you have heard but none of you care about, the Duggar family from Arkansas has just had their 17th baby. On their website, it says that the mom, Michelle, has been pregnant for 126 months – 10.5 years of her life. When is enough enough? Yeah, I’m sure they like kids, and everyone has a right to have them or not have them, but seriously. They almost have enough for an American AND National league baseball team that can play each other in something that everyone will refer to as the “Redneck Series.”
No, I don’t hate these people, and I’d bring in the argument that there’s no way anybody could support and provide for a family that large, but apparently they can, what with the dormitory-style housing and commercial kitchen. The father, Jim Bob (see, that white trash comment wasn’t so far off) works in real estate while the mother home schools the children. You may have even seen this family in TV specials on the Discovery Health Channel.
However, I am going to bring in the argument that there’s no way anybody could support and provide for a family that big. Financially, it seems they can do it (I think I read somewhere they have a Super Wal-Mart in their basement.) But emotionally, I submit that two parents can barely give enough attention and love to two children these days, much less 17. Now I’m not one to judge (except really that’s what this website is all about, so I will), but give me a break. Sure, maybe the first few kids, the oldest of whom is 19, will be alright. But once you start getting down a ways, say child eight or nine, I’m guessing things will start to fall apart in their lives during their mid-teens, and they’ll look for the attention and emotional support they never had as a child in other things. It’s common – this even happens with one child if both parents are working or otherwise unavailable. Even though the mom doesn’t work, I’m guessing she is pretty unavailable to really give these kids what they need.
So please, if you have more than four kids already, just stop. You’ve got your hands full, and believe it or not, it’s reported that the cost of raising one child from birth to age 17 (that’s pre-college, pre daughter’s wedding, etc. mind you) is about $270,000. For 17 children that’s $4.59 Million. That much money for children that will most likely have emotional issues and other problems stemming from unavailable parents? JUST STOP! Seriously, I’d be amazed if they still remember all their kids’ names.
I do know one thing for sure though, and that is no matter how wealthy or available you are to your kids, when you start resorting to names like Jedidiah and Joy-Anna, it’s time to stop being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Especially if you’ve spent a quarter of your life that way. It’s time to stop– no, the time to stop was 13 kids ago.
I did see the episode you mentioned on Discovery Health about this family. What concerned me other than the things that you have already stated was that the family used what the mother called “The Buddy System” (where each child was paired up with another child.. the oldest with the youngest, the second oldest with the second youngest, and so on) because she claimed that she could not give each child the help that they needed to do simple everyday tasks such as getting the children dressed, making their plates at meal time, getting them showered and ready for bed, etc.. I think this should have been her first clue to stop with the children. When you start assigning your children to other CHILDREN, your light bulb should have went off. Now, dont get me wrong.. I think that every child needs to have a little bit of responsibility in their lives, maybe A chore or two, just to let them know that everything in life isnt going to be handed to them… I think this situation is beyond that though. like you said the oldest child was 19 years old.. this 19 year old boy basically has a child of his own whether he likes it or not, and he HAS had one since he was assigned one when he was about 10.. THATS CRAZY.. these kids are raised by kids, with the supervision of the Mother. I just wonder what kind of CHILDHOOD these kids have? Kids are supposed to be kids…..
Yeah, I totally agree with you, Lauren. Seriously, let these kids be kids. And the 19 year old one and the ones in high school – I know when my older siblings were in high school they wanted nothing to do with the younger ones that weren’t, so how these parents convince them to do all that is kinda crazy to me. But whether it works or not, if they turn out well or not, nobody can argue that these parents did ruin any chance these kids had at a “normal” childhood. Responsibility for kids is good, but unloading one or more of YOUR kids, their siblings, on them? I don’t buy that.
20 bucks says that none of them will grow up to have so many kids, because they will want to give their kids what they never had – the attention and normal childhood in their young years.
Thanks for commenting.