You guys are in for a treat today; I feel like I stumbled across what is quite possibly the biggest MySpace Momo out there. Her display name is “.:.C@pt@!n CrUnCh, D33z N!gguHz !z Fr00t LooP$.:.” which I’m pretty sure means nothing. She’s got pictures of all six of her tattoos, all of which she makes a negative comment about except one. The song that plays is “Prostitute Flange” by Lil’ Wayne. And the overall presentation of her page looks like a Hot Topic had sex with a Sanrio then the resulting lovechild bled, threw up, and crapped all over a Pac Sun (or maybe a head shop, it’s hard to tell). Aside from the image that reads “Screw You, I’m From Texas” which is right above another image that says “Brunettes have it all – Beauty and Brains” and the results of the “What kind of weed are you” test, is, by far my favorite thing on her page, an image that reads:
I want a guy that would move the hair away from my eyes and kiss me. Hold my hand at the mall and make all the girls jealous. Sing to me at random moments. Let me sleep on his chest. A boy who would get mad at someone for calling me ugly. I want someone who would call me three times a day if he goes away…
…well, you get the point. Please, this chick has no shot. After this huge thing about who she wants, there’s also one that says “He told me he loves me and I sneezed. He said ‘bless you’ and I said ‘Sorry, I’m allergic to bulls—.’” Clearly this is another demented, confused chick that doesn’t know what the hell she wants- gangster, rock and roll, cute, edgy, whatever- but that’s good, because she won’t be getting it anytime soon.
Have a look, have a laugh, then give her a slap below. myspace.com/kayka_baby. And, as always, e-mail us your nominations for our next MySpace Momo.
First of all ya pig…you are 400 pounds. This is another one of those gross chicks that thinks people are jealous of her “because she is beautiful.” One word honey…”mirror.” The whole younger generation is f*ucked. This whole “hard” hip hop bull$hit has got to be the lamest trend in pop culture history. Whatever happened to fun. Nowadays it’s all about how tough you think you are and scowls. Back in the day people just hung out and had a good time..nobody cared how “hard” you were. It’s so stupid. Please everyone look at this slobs page and discuss…it’s awful.
Her page hurt my eyes.
See, the problem is these people keep reproducing and ruining their kids at an early age. Did you see the picture of the “Baby Gangstaz In Training.” …..that poor kid is doomed. She needs one of Mark’s World Wide Slaps in the Grill for teaching her son how to throw gang signs instead of teaching him how to count.
I am all for a positive self image, but doesn’t there come a point where you’re just fooling yourself? I know I’m not one to talk because I’m still carrying around some baby weight, but I can admit that. I know that if I was taking half naked pictures and claiming to be “DiV@L!cIou$” – I would be a “cOmpL3t3 j@ck@$$.” I wouldn’t be fooling anyone (not even myself!!!)!
There’s so many problems with this girl, her page, and her friends that I don’t even know where to begin. It’s going to snowball into a huge rant.
Doomed, we’re all just doomed.
Somebody needs to take a dump on this girls chest… wicked pig! HAHA
Wow Cherbear….well said.
We don’t even need to leave the state of Texas, here’s one…..
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=190927028
Her current mood is HIGH ….Bet her parents are proud.
So after checking out Cherbears link to another real winner I decided to send this pathetic joke a message. As follows:
“You do realize you are white? I forsee a real bright future for you and your “gangster” wanna be friends. And if you are wondering where I found your page I am not going to say but you were found on another site that makes fun of losers like you and your friends. When does this wannabe white thug bullshit end? I will never understand how and why it became cool to be a loser. ”
I will post her response when I get it. Should be classic. Stay tuned.
See, right by the top she has a saying: “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not” but the thing is we hate her for what she is, and what she is is her trying to be something she’s not. So I guess we hate her for not being who she is, rather, trying to be what she is not. So I guess that really means that she wants people to love her for who she is not, and doesn’t care if they hate her for what she is, or what she is trying not to be?
I’m confused. She’s dumb.
OMG Mark you didnt! BAHAHAHA This is gonna be good:)
First off I officially realize I have too much time on my hands at work that I was able to waste it learning this much information about some chick that I never will nor would I ever want to meet…
Secondly Burnsy I’m sorry it hurt your eyes, I had the speakers on and it was hurting my ears. I feel your pain my dear.
Now my thought: She recently moved to Houston with the “man” she loves. By perusing her comments, I notice that all the people that miss her and haven’t seen her seem pretty “normal.” However, the people that seem to have been around her recently… well shall we say that they could become the never-ending supply of the MySpace Momo. I ask this, has she released the inner wigger she has been suppressing all these years because of him or suppressed the girl next door so she could get her man? Is the move with her man and change of friends Coincidence? I think not.
I really need a busier job.
One of our most insightful posts yet Staciejo…good job and keep slapping.
I’VE FOUND THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS!!! I love girls who are 5′5″ 384 lbs., who think they’re black, and loves to eat chocolate brownie overload, pepperoni & pineapple pizza, chocolate, hot wings, chocolate zingers, cheese puffs, cookies, s’mores, sugar smacks, rice crispy treats, hunka chunka peanut butter, milkshakes, pudding pops, twizzlers, now n laters, meatballs, snickers, ho ho’s, twinkies, cotton candy, fried dough, corndogs, calzones, black d*ck, cheese fries, ice cream cake, tube socks & 24″ rims. TOO BAD SHE’S TAKEN…
UPDATE! Here is the response I recieved from Cherbears discovery I mentiond above. I wrote her and here is her oh so intelligent and educated response. Here is the link if you didn’t see her already.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=190927028
“hahahah
FUCK YOU
u dontknowSHHITT
whoare youu tojudge neone
not nobodyyyyyyy”
We win…game over. The future is f*cked.
Oh that stupid ass bitch! The future is f*cked when she’s sitting with her hand under her ass waiting for that welfare check. I can tell she has some real high aspirations.
Ewww!!!!
Oh God, I just saw that, that’s awesome. Message her back and tell her to take the c*ck out of her mouth when she types so we can understand her.
Better yet, instead of messaging her call her friend & get her number. Im sure whoever was brainy enough to put their number in the comment section would be smart enough to give her number out to strangers too. Seriously who the hell would leave there number in a PUBLIC comment section???!!!! I suppose it could be fake and them being funny… but for some reason Im doubting it.