01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone .
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire .
03. I t’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
04. Don’t be irreplaceable . If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
05. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else .
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet .
07. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments .
08. B efore you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes .
09. I f at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. I f you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. S ome days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield .
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them .
15. T he quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket .
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. D uct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together .
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works .
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving .
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it .
21. N ever miss a good chance to shut up .
22. N ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night .
Alright…there you go JT or should I say JF?! Welcome.