Not Your Average Idiot

I knew the day would eventually come where this Rant section would come in so very handy… today is that day.

In my office there is an idiot, yes I know shocking as it may be… there is.  I, however, am not talking your average day to day idiot.  Oh no, I’m talking full blown, does nothing wrong, thinks the worlds out to get him, pretenda-reporter, write letters to the editor, preach to the office, call my lawyers threatening, whine to bosses that nobody likes him, I-D-I-O-T.  I could go into many a story about this thorn in my side “co-worker”, whom I will refer to as Ben, but I will keep it to the irritation of the day, well everyday really. 

Ben has a cell phone, Ben has a “newspaper column” (which I use the term loosely as it is a free rag that I really don’t think anyone but him reads, but I could be wrong), and Ben has lot of phone conversations regarding said paper on said cell phone while at the office that is unrelated to the paper.  Now, I have no problem with the fact that Ben feels the need to deal with his other job all day at this job.  That’s not my problem to worry about what he is doing.  I too am on the phone quite a bit with my friends and the employees from my store, both unrelated to daytime job, but I still get my work done.  No Harm No Foul.  My bitch is the fact that almost every conversation that is had regarding aforementioned paper, ends up in the hallway.  That’s right, the hallway.  So not only do I despise even having to deal with Ben when I’m involved in the conversation, but now I am forced to listen to his conversations that have nothing to do with anything.  Every word that comes out of his mouth is fingernails on the chalkboard that is my brain!!  Seriously… who the hell leaves their office (which, mind you has a door) to stand in the hallway and talk on the phone??  Are you kidding me, I mean this is beyond cell phone etiquette… this is down right stupidity.  Why would you leave an area of attempted privacy to hold non-work related conversations outside of another employee’s office?  Even if I’m not busy or on the phone, I don’t care what the hell you are talking about and I don’t want to hear it.  If you feel the need to pace while on the phone… GO OUTSIDE!!!  WTF???  If there was ever a person in all of history that needed to be slapped on the pure simple fact of being an idiot… Ben is the man.  Closest I can come to doing it is slamming the door to my office whenever he is near by, some would take the hint, idiots apparently do not.