Four Day Bender……Never Again.

So I just came off a four day bender and I think I pissed blood this morning.

Tuesday: After a long day standing in lines and being surrounded by morons all over Honolulu I came home around 2 pm and begin to drink a couple beer. Shortly after my man Steve comes over…we kill a twelve pack. We then watch various concert DVDs until we run out of beer. We head out to a local bar/restaurant and grab some food and beer and call it a night after about 10 hrs of beer drinking. Drunk…but not hammered, in bed around 12 am.

Wednesday: NP and I decide to go grab a few beers at Magoos or whatever it’s called now. We down a couple pitchers around 8pm. After that we head to another place called Red Lion in Waikiki and have a couple more. The place is dead so then it’s off to The Lu which is ALWAYS a bad idea. We roll in and it begins. You can’t be in this place for 5 minutes without getting assaulted with shots. Jager, SoCo, Crown…whatever. I run into some old friends…catch up and then make some new friends all the time downing drafts, Jager Bombs and Car Bombs. Me and my new friend Kali spend two hours bantering back and fourth until it’s about 4am and the group decides it’s over and everyone leaves. Home around 5am…hammered.

Thursday: There was a Jimmy Buffett show at the Waikiki Shell and the after party is at the Lu. I knew a lot of my friends would be there so Steve pops in for pre game at my place. We have a few and head to the Lu around 10pm. By the time I get there most of my friends are loaded. As usual here comes the shots, SoCo, Jager and something called The Eye of The Storm. It’s good. My man SH was sitting next to me and fell out of his chair onto the floor…hammered. MM was dancing on a chair and had to be told to relax by the Samoan bouncer. MM also manages there. One of my new friends steals my hat, cell phone and ID. She thinks it’s a game….I get flustered. I count at least four broken bottles and glasses. I teach BB  the “Swirl and Sip” drinking technique. He loves it and teaches the rest of the table until it’s a non stop “Swirl and Sip” party. NP put on a shark mask and we start bantering Steve about his new tattoo. I retreat to the bathroom….throw up…twice. Come back to the table and continue. About 4 am it’s time to go. I head downstairs where I see SN across the street with a friend of hers. In a very mature manner I begin to put my hands to my mouth and make loud fart sounds. A local guy behind me thinks it hilarious and SN looks at me like, “What a idiot.” Then I am forced to chase the girl with my ID down the street a few blocks. I finally get it back. Kids. Home 5am…hammered.

Friday: Steve is on determined to go out. My body has givin up on me already. But since I convinced him to go out to the after party I owed him one. We roll into Magoos around 9pm with our friend H -Town. She is super hyper and loves to embarrass me at any opportunity. So we put down a few pitchers while she loudly points out every every girl in the bar yelling….”Go do her!” or “She’s hot!” I am embarrassed as usual. the 3 of us discuss relationships and why they suck for 2 hours. I win…as usual. The jukebox is blasting Guns n Roses and Steve screams “Fuck off!” while air guitar soloing. Time to go. H Town drops me and Steve at the Lu. It’s packed and we are greeted by Don the Samoan. We have a couple beers and discuss our future plans for this website involving video. No shots. I smell Soco….dry heave. A random chick with bright lipstick comes up to us. Steve says, “Nice lipstick.” She’s flustered and walks away. She comes back and asks me if I have seen her “brown friend?” I say not very politely “No, how am I supposed to know.” She is flustered and says “you’re dead.” Walks away. She comes back again mumbles something and leaves again. I don’t know. We leave and go to Ono Cheese Steak around 2 am. Surrounded by fat chicks and pocked faced bikers we lay the foundation for “Oh No! Ono!” Coming soon. Home 3am…buzzed and full. Wake up and can’t move. Never again.