Do not pick on the feisty one

Slap the face! Perhaps some of you don’t know this, but this is also something that village drunkards like Mark and myself could be found doing to each other while enjoying a few cool ones at the bar. All in good fun and there is nothing malicious about it. You talk about how sh!tty your life is, we slap each others faces and laugh uncontrollably. I continue this practice in Syracuse as I’m sure Mark does in Hawaii. However, one bartender went from slap the face to punch the face. Apparently the fucking momo’s around here translate that into me getting my ass kicked by a chick bartender. WRONG! Here’s how it went down: Absolutely hammered…people buying me Jameson shots one after another. I ask a bartender, we’ll call her “S”, to go ahead and slap me. Now S is a badass. She would have no problem fighting a guy and probably would take on more than one if she had to. She reaches back and smacks me. I make a terrible mistake and start laughing (natural response for me). But S isn’t somebody to be trifled with. She takes offense…proceeds to clench her fist and coldcocks me. Only this time instead of laughing, I spit on the floor and say “you hit like a girl…c’mon you can do better than that”. POW! right in the kisser. I wake up the next morning…see one of my roommates and ask him, “can you please explain something to me? Like why the fuck am I punched in the face?”