I’m starting a new catagory and it’s simply known as “People I Hate.” Every single day I encounter at least one, but usually several people that piss me off. I am not a patient person and slow, lazy and/or stupid people just make me furious. I wish death on upon them, but only for five minutes. Wouldn’t it be great if you had the power to kill people whenever you felt like it but ONLY for five minutes.
Example. The people at the bank today. I went in to make a simple transaction. I was next in line, the only other guy in there besides the two customers at the counter ahead of me. One was some old Asian women with a stack of paperwork in front of her that was CLEARLY going to take all day to go through and it was going to take forever for her transaction to take place. Then the guy next to her who had Tourettes Syndrome, for real not just being mean here. Tourettes guy just kept screaming “HEY!” over and over and yelling at all the tellers. Asking about their new haircuts, if they had boyfriends and boasting about his girlfriend. Ok, I know you have Tourettes so I can deal with that. You can scream “HEY!” all day and I will let that go because I know you have no control. But can you please shut the f*ck up and not ask 300 questions to the tellers while they work? They are already taking way too long as it is. They feel the need to ask each customer their life story before they finish their business. Do you need to instigate it and make them even slower than they already are? If I could just snap my fingers and he could drop dead just for five minutes, I could step over his body, make my deposit and leave. He could then wake up and continue his barrage of bullshit after I am gone. But with a massive headache. That’s the other part, when they wake up they have a crazy hangover type headache as punishment for being so damn stupid.
As for the Asian women…she should know better than to bring that much shit in to the bank. There are two tellers and you just took one way from us all for at least 20 minutes. Unacceptable! SNAP! Dead. I roll her out of the way, spike her paperwork on her body and do my business. Idiot.
On my way out I would double SNAP at the tellers and watch them fall to the ground as well. Why? Because I don’t have time to sit here and listen to you “talk story” with every f’n customer that comes in. MOVE! I have shit to do!
I think you get the idea. So look for semi daily updates with People I Hate…And Want Dead (For 5 Minutes)
How about the a-holes that stop right in your lane in the street or parking lot to let out some fatass passenger when there’s a spot not 10 feet away that they could pull into to get out of everybody’s way?
Or the lazy slobs who just stand there on the escalator and block the way for the normal people who use the escalator as it was intended – as moving STAIRS?
Jeez, great category, I could go on for days.