Elevators seem to be places where the most bizarre, hilarious, irritating, and frustrating things can happen. For example, a while back, while piss drunk, Mark, myself, and NP had some elevator fun when Mark hand-farted and then we all got blocked in by some fat tourist weeble wobble who was blocking our exit. This didn’t go over so well since we were all trying to not bust up laughing because of the hand fart.
And who hasn’t pushed all the buttons in the elevator and chuckled to themselves upon exiting?
But these examples could be explained by one word: immaturity. Well, being drunk IS a pretty good excuse for that, and under normal circumstances… hm, nah, probably would have all played out the same way. As for pushing all the buttons, that’s usually just due to immaturity of children (though in the interest of full discretion I will admit that the last time I did that was no more than 3 months ago).
However, aside from stupid things to do in elevators for entertainment, I believe many people have a SERIOUS lack of elevator etiquette. People will cough, or talk on their cell phones, not waiting for people to exit, or shove their way into an already crowded car after eating a garlic chicken pizza with a garlic crust with a side of onion and garlic soup and a garlic coke. These things piss me off, as well as many of the other stupid crap I’ve seen in elevators. Today, for example, I was trying to exit my building, and went down the elevator to the second floor, where the doors opened. I had my surfboard, and turned to grab it, and when I turned back around some BITCH had already entered, pushed her floor button, and hit the door close button. WTF? SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, YOU STUPID CUNT!! I then pushed the door open button, and told her that I was getting out, and grabbed my surfboard and proceeded to “accidentally” hit her with it on my way out. That crap pissed me off, and she deserved that, and more. Next time wait you impatient, selfish, ugly bitch.
For more information on elevator etiquette, or to brush up on your own etiquette to ensure that you too don’t get whacked by an 8′6” longboard, please visit elevatorrules.com.
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