So, I was going to go off about how retarded Valentine’s Day is and whatnot, but I’m sure you all know how we feel about it already. Instead, here’s a list of my favorite sexual euphemisms, taken from things I’ve read, heard, and a few that I’ve made up as well. Enjoy, and feel free to add your own as well – I’m sure there’s a lot more good ones out there.
10. Crashing the custard truck
9. Put the roast in the oven
8. Get tubed on the longboard
7. Wrinkle the sheets
6. Wallpaper the closet
5. Park the beef bus in tuna town
4. Show Polyphemus the way back to Tartarus
3. Rockin’ the Casbah
2. Letting the Wookie win
1. Give her the old Jon Bone Jovi
Slapbacks